I had a miscarriage in the spring of 2007. I entered the doctor’s office for a routine appointment, and I left knowing that the baby I carried inside me no longer had a heartbeat. I was shocked, scared, angry, and sad. How had this become my reality?
It took a few days for me to recall that earlier in the week, I had a dream. It was detailed enough that I remembered it the morning after, but I dismissed it as a combination of hormones and thinking so much about a new baby. I had nearly forgotten all about it. But after the news of my baby’s death, the dream came back vividly.
In the dream, I was in a room delivering my baby. There were nurses all around dressed in white. I kept protesting to them because they wanted me to free the baby from my body so they could take care of it. But I reminded them it was too early. And I kept telling them I wasn’t really in labor because I didn’t feel any pain. I tried to reason with them to see it my way. But they weren’t responding to my confusion.
Instead, they were calm but firm in their instruction. Deliver the baby. They said it was the right time, even though it didn’t feel that way to me. They kept telling me she would be alright. They invited me to trust them. Then quickly, I had the baby without any pain. And one of the nurses dressed in white carried her away.
Now, you might think I’m a little crazy. There’s nothing about any of this that I can prove. But I believe that my baby’s heart stopped beating that night while I slept. I believe it was a girl. I believe those nurses in my dream were a picture of God ushering my child into His forever presence. And I believe with all my heart that she is indeed alright.
The Bible is filled with stories of how God speaks in dreams. God speaks about coming events, calls people to His service, provides direction, and gives warnings through dreams. All over the Old and New Testaments, there are examples of hearts being stirred and strengthened during sleep in ways we cannot explain.
As for me, I have had other experiences of God using a dream to get my attention. But the dream with me and my unborn baby has been the most impactful of my life thus far. I often think of that experience and though I still wish I had been able to know and mother the child I lost, I am comforted by a sense of peace. God knows her, and she is important to Him. I am thankful for His kindness in allowing me an experience with her that I can remember. I didn’t understand it at the time, but I do understand now that the only thing I know for sure about her is that she is with the One who loves us both.
This post is chapter 5/7 of The Ways God Speaks To Us.