Whenever I’m confronted with a personality test, I always bristle a little bit. Because it doesn’t matter if it’s an Enneagram, a Myers-Briggs, or figuring out which Disney princess is closest to my personality, it’s going to come out the same. Whichever letters, numbers, or heroine describes one who is practical, logical, systematic, and organized is the one that is going to be connected with my personality. The real life of the party description, right?
It makes me bristle because it’s never who I want to be. I want to be more fun than I am. I want to be more spontaneous than I am. I want to be more relaxed than I am. I want to think less about lists, schedules, and planning. I am tempted to look at who I am and consider personality qualities of who I am not and I feel like maybe I am lacking.
But that is changing in me. Oh, my personality isn’t changing. I am and probably forever will be practical and organized. But I don’t see that as a weakness in my personality as much anymore. I see the positive side of being able to plan things and see them through. I enjoy being able to have the freedom of white space in my calendar because I am disciplined when it comes to spending time on work and other responsibilities. I am able to create a home that feels secure because I keep track of appointments, practices, and events.
And I am beginning to recognize that I can relax even though that isn’t my natural outlook on life. I can be funny even though I’m a serious person who thinks about serious things. My sensitive spirit that can drag me down in overanalyzing is also what allows me to bless others with an empathetic ear.
The second section in the book “Exhale” (Amy Carroll & Cheri Gregory) that we have been exploring is called “Love who you ARE”. One of the paragraphs I underlined says this, Ask a group of Christian women to make a list of their weaknesses, and you’ll hear a frenzy of pen scratching. But ask these same daughters of the King to brainstorm their strengths, and you’ll be deafened by the silence. Which must break our Creator’s heart.
When I turn away from who God created me to be, I become an obstacle to the work that He wants to do through me. I will never be as good as I can be when I play the comparison game or try to change myself to be more like someone else. The greatest gift I can give the world is my God-given uniqueness. And while I will not say that is easy for me, I will say it’s easier now than it has ever been before. And I am grateful.
Incidentally, there’s a personality quiz in “Exhale”. Yes, I took it. It identified me as “The Inspector” which is described with words like detailed, high standards, checklists, seeks perfection, hard on herself, etc. No surprise there. But it also said, says things that make others think. I kind of like that one.
He created me. He created you. He loves us. He wants to use His creation to bless the world.