My husband has a John Deere riding lawn mower with a bad tire. Whenever he mows, he pumps up the tire and it works fine for the hour or so it takes to finish our lawn. Then he parks it in the garage and over the next few days, the air leaks out until the tire is flat again.
When I asked him about it recently, he told me there was probably a small hole in the tire. He said he would need to take it in and get the hole repaired. But until then, he’d just get by.
You know what? I feel like that tire sometimes. I felt like that tire this week.
Enjoy every minute with your kids, they tell me. They grow up way too fast. But my kids are kids and sometimes their needs and wants are so much to handle. I drop them off here and pick them up there. I look for teachable moments and opportunities for meaningful conversation. I try to make sure they sleep enough, eat enough, work enough, and play enough. I listen to their struggles and referee their arguments. And this mama is tired. Flat like the tire.
Support your husband, they tell me. He needs to know you’re in his corner. But my husband’s work situation is really stressful right now. It’s been that way for awhile and there’s no end in sight. I’m there when he needs to talk. I’m the safe place where he can express his frustrations. And this wife is tired. Flat like the tire.
Share your gifts, they tell me. The world needs what you have to offer. But ministry takes time. Teaching means hours of work and preparation. Sometimes people want more than I have to give. Sometimes people get frustrated when you can’t move fast enough. Or when your opinion isn’t what they expected to hear. And this servant is tired. Flat like the tire.
I have this space in my house. We affectionately call it “the dungeon” because it’s a little unsightly. It’s a corner of our storage room that has a director’s chair against a cabinet and a cooler I use for a side table. It has become my sanctuary since my kids have been out of school the past few weeks. I go out there, sit alone, and talk to Jesus.
I was out there in the dungeon one morning this past week. Unloading on Him about all the demands in my life. Seeking connection with Him that would bring rest. Rest for my heart. Rest for my soul. Rest for my mind.
I heard His invitation. Stand as close to Me as you possibly can. My presence alone will provide what you need. Draw near. Then draw even nearer. Then draw near again. Keep drawing near. I will be right here. Solid. Unmoving.
This invitation is the fix for my flat tire. I can keep putting air in every few days. Or I can repair the leak. I need to remember that in times of weariness renewal comes when I draw near to Jesus. When I talk to Him. When I receive from Him. When I lean on Him. He is the strength I need. Peace.